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Thread: Apple Still-life Composition Based Rework

  1. #11
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    South Yorkshire, UK
    Posts
    203
    Lovely apple DarkOwnt! I want to reach out and eat it.

    It's fascinating reading through all the compositional analysis and process too - something I tend to pay too little attention on. Removing the gap between the jars really has coalesced the scene together in a more harmonious manner. Such a small change with such a large impact.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    481
    Thank your for the kind words Bertrude!

    I'm still learning about composition but I am excited about its potential!

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
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    481
    Value Study for a Rough Fix

    After some experimentation, I decided that I should avoid drastic changes such as jar tops, or out of frame objects casting shadows... I've concentrated on reducing the diameter of the jar on the right and reducing its value (more grey than white), as well as used subtle gradient to keep the eye from wandering out of the top edge of the work. To fix the lower portion of the work I have decided to punch the reflections a little bit and break up the edge of the table by using a corner instead. This provides a path into the work and a supporting frame which aligns to some of the flow of the objects.

    I think I will settle on something very much like this in the actual rework. I might refine some surface features in the table (very subtle wood grain) or in the left jar.

    Anyway I am happy with the overall compositional improvement indicated by this value study and will put it all together in a final version.

    Click image for larger version. 

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  4. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
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    481
    Here are the results of my composition based rework.


    Click image for larger version. 

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    Comments, thoughts?

    Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
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    481
    Ok I fussed over it a little bit more... gotta step away for a while!

    Click image for larger version. 

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  6. #16
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
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    481
    Ok. So I smeared the reflection out to the left a little, made a subtle brightness gradient to the reflection of the white jar and softened the edges of the groove on the right, and added an overall further subtle gradient at the bottom.

    This is the final version I will post here.

    As a beginner at composition, I am very eager to hear any feedback or comments! Did the process succeed? Is this final rework better? Were there things I could have or should have (or should not have) done?


    Original.......................................... .................................................. .................................................. ....................Final Version

    Click image for larger version. 

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  7. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    3,810
    I'm not much of an art critic, but I definitely find the placement of the apple in the final version more visually appealing, as well as the change you made to the surface. My eye is drawn more to the subject of the image too. It's a really nice looking painting!

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    481
    Thank you very much for the feedback Dave!

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Reno, Nevada
    Posts
    325
    Nice work DO! You nailed it.

    I have been off painting with traditional paints (oil) so have had nothing to contribute here.

    I just saw this video and thought I would share it here. Her videos are worth watching. Her three-part brush strokes videos remind me how much art has come before us all. They are "really" worth watching. Here is the compositional video:



    Again, Nice work Man!
    Robert Hopkins

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    481
    Quote Originally Posted by HwyStar View Post
    Nice work DO! You nailed it.

    I have been off painting with traditional paints (oil) so have had nothing to contribute here.

    I just saw this video and thought I would share it here. Her videos are worth watching. Her three-part brush strokes videos remind me how much art has come before us all. They are "really" worth watching. Here is the compositional video:


    Again, Nice work Man!
    Thanks Robert! I'm still not 100% happy... but I think I need to move on to something new!

    The resource I am primarily using to learn composition is Ian Roberts book "Mastering Composition", it includes a DVD as well. I think it is an amazing book, with just the right balance of explanation of principles and examples.

    This is a little preview I found on YouTube


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