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Thread: One year ago today... Dec 7th, I lost my Mom

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
    Posts
    4,462

    One year ago today... Dec 7th, I lost my Mom

    One year ago today my world changed forever. I lost my Mom... Losing my Mother was like losing my soul...

    Without saying a word she could tell when I was having a bad day or something was bothering me... Even when I did not feel ill, she could tell I was...

    One of the last things she said to me prior to her brain tumour erupting December 4th was "Kenny make sure you see a doctor, I know there's something wrong with you, give me your word see the Doctor"..

    Two months after her passing I found out I had early stages of cancer...

    Mom's passing changed me in ways I find hard to articulate... It has changed priorities in my life... I put more value on family and friends and less on material things. Don't get me wrong I still enjoy my 60 Corvette, camera equipment, computers and tv... I see them for what they are "things"...I possess them, they don't possess me...

    It really doesn't matter to me one hell of beans if someone agrees or disagrees on a hot topic. I can discuss, I can debate but I no longer hold a grudge. Everyone is entitled to their point of view. How can you tell someone their opinion is wrong? After all it is their opinion...

    I enjoy the simpler things in life. A walk in the woods, a drive along the coast to Peggy's Cove or just being at a car show...

    Losing a loved one is weird. There a moments when I'll enter a room and think I'll see her in sitting in her favorite place then I come to the realization she is gone, she's no longer here...

    Her birthday is Christmas Eve which makes the Holiday Season even tougher... A few years earlier just after Christmas I lost a dear friend who was more like a brother. We grew up together and Wayne also succumbed to cancer like Mom...

    I spend a lot of idle time with my 81 year old Dad...knowing one day we will be parting our ways for good...

    On December 7th, 2011 not only did Christmas lose it's appeal to me, but life lost most of it's magic... The sun still shines but just not as bright as it once did...

    Today Dad & I will be visiting her grave site with flowers...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Edinburgh, Scotland
    Posts
    239
    kenmo, my thoughts are with you. This is a terrible time for you. I trust that you will find some peace. I am sure the community here are all behind you, wishing you and your Dad all that is good. I am so sorry for your loss and sad memories.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    22,517
    Good on ya mate. If this kind of stuff didn't give us cause for a new look at the same old stuff, we'd be doomed to an endless loop of just getting older but never growing. Seems to me you're doing great. Look after your dad. I'm sure he's thinking the similar things and then some.
    "Not a bit is wasted and the best is yet to come. . ." -- remembered from a dream

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    3,818
    You'll never stop missing her, but it will get easier. How wonderful to have a Mom that was so loved. Look after your Dad and celebrate her life over Christmas. xx

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    36
    Sorry to hear that from you Kenmo! The world needs you, friends and relatives also need you! Be strong, hold on and live your life! Happy memories, images, and maybe videos are left with her. Don't crush, your life needs to be lived further!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
    Posts
    4,462
    Thanks for all the kind and warm replies... I've been very depressed for over an year now...

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    22,517
    Hi Kenmo,

    My mom is still alive, thankfully. But when I lost my dad, I had no idea where the rather weighty depths of my grief came from nor how long it would/did last. It just was what it was -- a complete surprise to me. I could never have anticipated it or prepared for what came out of my very depths. While my dad was a good and loving guy in his way, his concept of the world was far simpler and way more distant (common in his generation and background), and we operated on very different wave lengths. And I think I had survived my life long by numbing myself to the things that never happened for us as father and son.

    So I think a lot of my grieving was that pent up love and missed opportunities. My head was okay with it. But I got through it emotionally by composing music through the help of a very automatic computer music program. It was as if I was a trained composer, and from this I came to see music as being distilled emotion. From all my tears during that process, I'm surprised I wasn't electrocuted. Anyway, the grieving finally passed when it was ready to. Not before.

    I can't imagine what it would be like to grieve for someone like your mom was with you. I imagine everybody's situation has some common elements shared with everyone else, but there are also those unique personal levels that have no parallel. So I hear ya. And I wish you peace when you can come to that place. It does come.

    By the way, anniversaries do accentuate those events.
    "Not a bit is wasted and the best is yet to come. . ." -- remembered from a dream

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    14,943
    Thinking of you Kenmo, stay strong
    Sometimes...I remember better with my eyes closed

    My Gallery
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  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    washington, usa
    Posts
    14,215
    It seems like only a month ago to me because the time has passed so quickly but yet it has been a whole year for you having to deal with that loss every day. I remember how hard it was on you and felt so deeply sad for your loss when I first heard about it. Keep the good memories of her alive and remember that her soul lives on in you. So treat her to some special sights and joyful things you like to do too and pass her love along to others. As you are driving down the coast I think she gets to enjoy the joy of that view too. Take care my friend.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Huntsville, On., Canada
    Posts
    5,356
    Ken, I know how hard it is to lose a love one I lost my dear husband of 56 years at christmas 2011, Make your Mom happy and remember her with love and happiness , as a Mom I do not want my children to grieve over long but just to remember me with love and laughter.

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