TSK! n' HOOT! Laddie. . . if ye ever expect ta put on a ton, ye have to eat yer 'aggis on the hour an' the 'alf. Cornflakes an' water rashers willna do. . . lest ye gobble 'em oop by tha truckload.
Wonderin' why ye'd be contemplatin' gainin' industrial level weight. Ye'd nay be contemplatin' a career in Sumo Wrestlin', even though the Brighton circuit be rather easy ta enter these days, where ye'd win all yer matches by default wi' no contenders boot yer fine semi-Scot self, oh aye.
Go man go, Laddie-san!!!
"Not a bit is wasted and the best is yet to come. . ." -- remembered from a dream