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Thread: Art - What's the point?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    Scotland
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    Art - What's the point?

    My mum doesn't like art.
    She doesn't encourage me to draw.
    She doesn't want me to practice.
    My sister's always say I'm rubbish.
    They say I'm not an artist, so I should stop trying to be.

    I get upset all the time because of this. And maybe this is why I've been failing to draw anything for a while, even little doodles...

    What's the point in art? If I get no encouragement, inspiration and I'm just plain no good, why should I bother?
    What's the point?
    I don't want people to love my art, they don't have to, but I'd like some encouragement sometimes.
    I never get it.
    And it makes me upset and I cry because of it.

    My mum doesn't want me to do art. And she thinks I can gain nothing out of it.
    My sister's getting a mini laptop, when she has a perfectly good normal laptop. Her mini laptop is 200, and she's going to use her birthday money to get it.
    So when I brought up the idea of buying a tablet off of eBay (I had found one around the price of 200, running Windows XP, with a pen-touch screen, and in good quality, from a seller with 100% positive feedback. And it was buy it now too.) she refused, and said many things like:

    *It could be a scam. (It isn't. With all that feedback, it's not)

    *No optical drive. (You can get cheap USB ones.)

    *I have no use for it. (Drawing, duh! And other things, too)

    *I can't use it for art classes, if I ever get into them.
    (1. She would never let me go to art classes. 2. If you can draw good on a tablet laptop, you can draw good on paper. A tablet pc simply gives you less mess)

    *You're 11! (The time-old parental excuse for when their children want something. I am 11. I love art. And I want to buy something to help me develop it.)

    *You already have one of those drawing-tablet plug in ones. (Yes. I do. But, my reasons for wanting a tablet pc are: 1. My current laptop I would prefer to use for games. As it is better for games than for art. 2. It's hard for me to draw on it, and I would prefer to actually draw properly, not on a board which projects what I draw onto a screen.)

    *If it's the same as drawing on paper, draw on paper! (My pencils are all ones that do not sharpen correctly, as she wouldn't buy me any proper pencils. They are gritty, they do not draw correctly, and they are just plain old horrible. Plus, I don't want to waste paper. I'm trying to be Eco-Friendly!)

    *You're just too young. (She seems to think I'm like one of those stereotypical eleven-year olds who can't decipher up from down. I know more about computers than she ever would.)

    *We don't know how old it is, whether or not it'll work or if it's damaged. (Hmmm...Funny, the eBay seller is actually a business, and all the other customers seem to have gotten their goods delivered, intact, and in working order. Surely the seller wouldn't have suddenly decided 'Hm. Let's sell a bunch of junk and laugh about it!')

    *No! (Yes!)

    *It costs too much! (She's buying my sister a mini laptop, at roughly 200. It has already been ordered. My sister used her own money. So shall I. And the mini-laptop is only for MSN...Like that will ever get her anywhere in life. I'm wanting a thing that I can use to help me practice art. If anything happened, when I'm older, like I ran out of money, and so did she, and there was no way I could get any from anywhere else, I could sell art, but only if I could practice. If not, well, I'm stuffed, really...)

    You get the picture. I've looked at reviews, scoured the web to check, read a lot of the seller's feedback, etc. But she STILL won't buy me it. It's not like it costs that much. She never listens to me.

    I'm not asking that you try and help.
    But you can if you wish.
    You can give me ways to convince her to buy me the tablet, not that she'll listen to me. She'll just shout at me when I open my mouth and tell me to go away.
    But also, if you have anyway to help encourage me to do more art, I'd be really happy, because I'm getting no encouragment at home.

    Thanks for reading...
    Last edited by weeun; 07-29-2009 at 09:19 AM.
    The story of us
    looks a lot like a
    TRADGEDY
    now.


  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Australia
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    2,830
    I'm sorry that's a crap position to be in not a family member but a teacher in my case was the most damaging saying I couldn't draw so why not just photograph?!

    Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers you find a way through soon and keep your spirits up
    "I like to have a thing suggested rather than told in full. When every detail is given, the mind rests satisfied, and the imagination loses the desire to use its own wings."
    ~Thomas Bailey Aldrich~

  3. #3
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    Jul 2009
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    Montalban,Rizal,Philippines
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    783
    First of all, she IS your mum. Maybe you should just get good at it and then make a nice drawing for her and print it out. Wait until you get good.
    Just get a pencl and some paper and draw.
    You mentioned you already have a tablet. That should be good enough. You don't need the best if that one still works.
    The people here on the forum are all for you learning to draw. It will let you ease the frustrations that you now have. Draw to get some relief from the negative feedback you have.
    If you get lemons, make lemonade. You can be a great artist. Remember that great artists usually end up broke. That is just the way things seem to go. They are happy though.
    Use art as a relief valve and do good at your studies in school. You will come out ahead there.
    We want you to succeed. Hang in there and do what mum wants. You can do both. Don't be jealous of your sister's birthday. Wish her a Happy Birthday and make a nice gift for her. It is your gift to her. She is your sister.
    Calm down and take it easy. You will do fine.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Scotland
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    I am not jealous of her birthday. My birthday is 9 days after hers. But I am jealous she gets more than me all the time.

    I would draw and practice, but I can't, something's stopping me, I try to and I just...can't.
    The story of us
    looks a lot like a
    TRADGEDY
    now.


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Tiffin, OH USA
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    8,530
    It's unfortunate that your Mum doesn't understand your passion or appreciate the fact that you have one. I know that you don't want to hear this but, you are 11 and it's your Mum's job to do the best that she knows how. She'll never be perfect and neither will you be when you're a Mum. But she's the Mum and she gets to make the rules.

    Raybrite gives good advice ... use what you have at your disposal ... and be thankful that you have that. Use crappy pencils on ordinary paper if that's what it takes to advance your talent.

    You do have talent and the more hurdles you have to overcome, the better an artist you'll eventually become.

    Again, you're 11 and "This too shall pass."

    Your Mum makes one point that can't be argued with: You can't use a tablet device in Art Class.

    In the mean-time ... work with what you have and this community will support you. I promise.

    Your story reminds me of a novel I read many years before you were born. "My Name Is Asher Lev" by Chaim Potok. From the maturity of the way you express yourself in writing, I think it would not be over your head.

    Calm down my dear and concentrate on approaching this not from the point of view of "I want what I want and I want it now." but rather from the point of view of "I'll get what I deserve when I can show that I deserve it.".

    It sounds like your Mum has done a fair job of giving you and your Sis much more than so many kids your age have. It's always easy for kids to ask for more ... it's not so easy for them to appreciate what they have. And I'll bet that as time goes on, you'll come to realize just what treasures you have in your Mum and your Sis.

    Hugs to you,
    Robert

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    washington, usa
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    14,215
    get a sketchbook and just doodle and draw all the time. when you get good at it you show your mum and tell her how you feel about having her encourage your dreams. Hey that is a lot of money for a tablet! You can do much better. 200 pounds is a lot! Can't say I blame your mum for not wanting to spend that much. If you go to an academic sales site you can get one for much less and refurbished even cheaper... I got a tablet for $99.00 u.s. graphire wireless and it has been working perfect... but a tablet won't really make you draw. Just draw because you love it and it makes you happy and it doesn't matter what others think really.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    22,556
    I think there are many things possible. Viewing from this great distance it could be anything. Among the possibilities are:

    It's karma. And you have lessons coming up around all of this not least of which is learning persuasion, learning cooperation, learning creativity in all forms, learning communication in a smooth way. It's a great life lesson if you can master it before you're jettisoned into the world at large.

    Mom could be using this as an opportunity to teach. Or she may be needing to learn it herself because she got the "NO!" word rammed down her throat when she was a kid and never worked it out. That's what happened with my mom. at 86 she's still sore about when she had dance lessons taken away from her. Dunno.

    It's possibly where the family battle lines have been drawn where they want X and you want Y. It would be either there or wanting a new red dress or something off the wall just because it moves the energy. It's called transference. Wait till you get married if you think this is fun. It'll be about important things like tooth paste caps being left off, or the toilet roll being put in backwards, etc. And it just doesn't make a lot of sense the form it takes. It usually means there is something bigger going on.

    It's maybe because mom believes that being anything less than a professional is a insecure and putting your energies into anything less than being in a position of security, financially, professionally, including being married to someone who is, will put you in a victim position in life. She sounds like my wife's family. They really did a number on her and her siblings to where they're blocked about doing creative things. Doctors and lawyers all. To them it was all part of staying alive.

    Sometimes people from the working class have a class prejudice. And they think that pursuing a creative profession is putting on airs.

    It's also possible that your Mom isn't so dead set against you doing Art, and that you are making it dramatic because that's what we do when we want to plead our case to the court of world opinion. Like you are with your sister's always getting better presents. That tells me you're 11. Hahah.

    Listen, just do art as was said before, with whatever you have available to you. Pencil and paper as an example. Or get in with a school club that does what you want to do. Or get a book and start doing the exercises. AND BUILD A SUPPORT STRUCTURE IN ADDITION TO MOM AND SIS. It could mean you are growing and this is where growing up in order to take your place in the world a bit at a time. Be considerate and be cautious. And learn how to deal with situations where it's not a reaction to Mom etc. Start using your creativity now. Don't need a computer or even a pencil at all for this part.

    I'm not worried about you relative to Art. You will be able to do Art if you are really interested. Just need to learn to take criticism well. It's a big lesson. You have healthy options. Leave the door open for when and if they make supportive comments. Don't want to get rigid and think people are going to be forever against you. That's melodrama, and of you really like that, you should be thinking about being a writer rather than an artist in that case. :-)

    Hey, my mom thought my art was an embarrassment for a long time. . .publicly. It hurts and never stopped hurting, even when she got enlightened to the fact that I was at one point making triple what she and my step father were making combined. 'Course, that old tune about her own not being able to continue with dance lessons when she was a kid had been running her interaction with me all along and it wasn't till much later that it became clear that her negativity toward me being an artist was mostly about her. It was really screwy when she said she was pleased for me, but the resentment seethed just below the surface. She tried really hard to master it. I just learned to deal with her around things other than art. And all was right with the world.

    Hope some of this gives you a little insight into how thick it can all get. Moms are dealing with a far far bigger picture than their daughter's painting or not. Maybe step above it a little from time to time and you may be surprised by what you find.
    Last edited by D Akey; 07-29-2009 at 10:50 AM.
    "Not a bit is wasted and the best is yet to come. . ." -- remembered from a dream

  8. #8
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    783
    Something to think about. This is true.
    I can look out my window every day and see boys and girls dressed in rags, who beg for money.
    When I go to the donut shop there are several small girls and boys begging for money to have something to eat. They don't have any good clothes.
    These are called street kids.
    Look at what you have. A computer, good clothes, a clean house ( except for your room maybe), a meal on the table every day, medical care, a mum who cares enough to say no when she thinks best, heat in the winter and cool in the summer, a room to sleep in instead of a place on the street and much more.
    There are many more if you think a bit.
    Try to be glad with that you have and maybe thank mum and God that you were fortunate to be born into that life and not the life of a street kid here.
    Your art will return and the worry about what you DON'T have will be replaced with the thankfulness for what you DO have.
    Just a thought to help you through.

  9. #9
    Join Date
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    Australia
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    Dear Ween, you are like our little sister, ever so bright and creative, what a shame it would be to waste the years of wisdom that has been offered to you in the recent posts.

    Life as a parent is not the least bit easy, not only do we have our own personal hang ups to deal with, we have our childrens as well. Never ever mistake your mothers love Ween, i can assure you that she spends a lot of time thinking about your needs and requirements, it may just happen that they are not shared by you many many times.

    The advice that has been offered to you here in this thread is rock solid, it is extremely generous, i wish that you receive this gift of wisdom with all your heart, that you will embrace it and make use of it. Art at it's very core is creativity, you can be creative making faces in a mirror (try it sometime, it will cheer you up, promise) if that's not enough go and draw those faces, scratch on a board, if that's all you available to you.

    If you truly love Art, which i believe you do, then you will move on and find ways that are available to you. It is your stubbornness that blocks your creativity Ween, loosen up, relax, accept your life and all that it has with an open heart, then your drawing and painting will follow.

    All i have is a computer, and Tablet that my Dad helped me to buy, i have to pay him back lol (this is embarrassing at my age, but i am a pensioner so...) maybe you could do extra choors, or something to encourage !Not Force! your Mum to help you buy Some !Good Books! not a new pc, you don't need it, re-evaluate what you need Ween, we are born with nothing and we leave with nothing, need for nothing and you will be at peace, being at peace is the most important goal in life, not accumulating goodies

    Ween we care, please reconsider and perhaps even apologize to your mother for being jealous of your sisters birthday present, i promise it will go a very very long way, if your mother can see that sort of maturity in you.

    Take Care Ween
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  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Scotland
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    Thank you everybody. I apologised to my mum and said that I don't really need it, and it's up to her if she buys me it or not. If she does, yay, if not, I no longer mind. I'm still struggling with drawing, because I don't know what to draw, but I might get there in the end.
    The story of us
    looks a lot like a
    TRADGEDY
    now.


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