You can handle this mate!
Quite understandable, I dare say, your reaction. But there's one thing I have found based on my own illnesses:
What is, is. And that is usually plenty to handle. It's probably easier on us when we don't anticipate and suffer from worse things than are actually at our doorstep.
I myself had a near miss with a melanoma that a doctor kept ignoring. When I finally wrestled him to the ground and demanded to see a specialist it turned out that I had skin cancer and it had grown to a bald man's hair under the size that usually indicates a fatal outcome.
They caught yours. That's a blessing.
But having said that, I found it kinda fascinating watching it all. It was a trip. I had no idea what was going to happen. But all the attendants had the requisite long sympathetic faces when they were doing me up, and I found myself yacking it up with them and it was great. Nuts, I know. But I can say this, I needed no pain medication afterwards, and got healthy -- which may or may not have come from experiencing it all with a great deal of altitude. I was along for the ride. Not by design, calm just sorta took over me from out of the blue.
Admittedly, I was lucky, but I could have gotten into the drama of it all, but all that would have accomplished would have been creating needless suffering.
They say that hindsight is 20/20, I just opted to move past the moments of emotional distress to that place.
This is only my experience, and maybe I was foolish, but I felt it may have kept me from convincing myself that I should to feel more ill and going that direction, led by my emotions. . . which I too certainly felt at points, and that's a fact.
Rising above it may be easier said than done, my friend, and forgive me for sounding cavalier.
I wish you great health, good doctors, and lots of support where you need it -- at home and all that.
My prayers are most definitely with you!!!!!!!!
I feel you can rise above this, Apache warrior!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I look forward to many many more great paintings. . . and songs. . .
This is your song, maestro. Play it grand.
Last edited by D Akey; 08-07-2008 at 11:22 PM.
"Not a bit is wasted and the best is yet to come. . ." -- remembered from a dream