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cartuneman
02-01-2013, 07:37 AM
Hi every one, Sorry to say but I ended back up in the hospital for a couple days......I'm not liking this bad heart business one bit. It's frustrating and annoying and worrisome to say the least. I got back home yesterday afternoon and I have come to realize life just isn't going to get any better.
I just wanted to say before anything else ever happens to me, that I have been honored in my spirit and humbled in my soul to have met all of you here on Art Rage. You all have filled my eyes with spectacular colors and amazing talents. So, to all of you I tip my hat in respect and bow to your wonderful individual talents that you share with me and the world. I also thank you for the nice comments and thank you all most for being a friend.

:)

coops
02-01-2013, 08:06 AM
Hey Cartuneman come on now I know its a drag but best foot forward onwards and upwards. THINK POSITIVE else you will have so many of your friends in here kicking your errrrrr butt. You have to think positive and then the brain tells the body to mend. The young lady next door to me had a stroke last summer at the age of 45, she was in such a sorry state but hey shes doing ok now. Her speech is back and the limbs all work fine and I think a lot of that was through putting the best foot forward.
You are such a treasured member of this community that we want you to smile for hey a smile causes less wrinkles than a frown:):):) see. Please be well my friend:)

D Akey
02-01-2013, 08:15 AM
Yeah yeah. . . But did you make the changes to the previous painting I suggested? . . . <j/k>

Listen, that's a fine sentiment. But you can't let this health thing get you down more than appropriate. I can't say what you've been going through, and I know it gives a unique perspective which may or may not be clear. I believe that the most important thing is holding on to a positive projection.

I have been diagnosed with a nasty disease, MS, which had me falling over and had my vision all messed up, and they had me in the infusion center getting 5 days (as I recall - it was a while back) of solumedrol which is essentially steroids to lower the inflammation on the nerves in my brain. I had been reading the side effects of the drug at the time and it included depression to the point of taking one's life. How's that for a side effect. Mother fu. . . I wasn't suicidal, but I could see people going that route if so inclined. I had been expecting to die though.

Anyway, what the effect was was that everything went flat and hopeless on me. And it was as if I was looking at the world through a dull tunnel where I was totally disengaged from absolutely everything. And the thing that brought me back was watching a very funny new TV show that got me to laughing. And after a few days of living my chemistry came back into balance and all the while being lifted one rung at a time by the occasional laughing.

It was through that huge swing that I came to have opinions about life and death issues that had been on the table for the world, but never before for me. I realized that moods are often driven by body chemistry and can flip hot or cold based on something as temporary as chemistry -- way more than the reality warranted. And I also suddenly had opinions about choice and life and attitude and all that stuff.

The other and main thing is for me that it would have been easy for me to have given up and projected a scenario way worse than the reality because I was in the middle of some scary stuff. I had to explain to my son what it meant to have MS. And therein was the moment of my real choice. He asked that's really bad, right? And I said maybe, maybe not. We'll have to see. And that really is the point. Fear is the worst enemy and can send us down really abruptly, way below where one needs be.

If I am to offer you anything it's that you have to override negative illusions. It's quite natural to be impacted negatively over this. But keep your eye on the high road. Listen to your doctors and all that. But keep your bearings as much as you can through this. You have a lot going for you, a beautiful family and infinite talent, and a great joy of life from everything I've seen. So be well. Be prudent and sensible with what you have on your plate presently. You've got friends here anytime you want.

Marilyn Anne
02-01-2013, 08:48 AM
Struggling here too!

copespeak
02-01-2013, 09:17 AM
Every day we have on this earth is a bonus, and only humans know we are finite. Live in the moment and relish each day. xx

grayflo
02-01-2013, 10:13 AM
Sending you warmest wishes, friend, and hoping that rest will help up cope with this difficult time.

justjean
02-01-2013, 10:15 AM
It's a big burden Cartuneman, You will handle it the best you can, Keep your chin up and think postive and know we are all sending hopes and prayers to you

Alexandra
02-01-2013, 10:33 AM
John, I had prepared this long story, but I won't share it right now. It is a bummer when things seem to knock us down, but keep that chin up, and be the strong person that you are dear man, and focus on recovery, and the love all around you.

gxhpainter2
02-01-2013, 11:13 AM
John, DAkey and Katie have given you some great advice, I will only offer encouragement, and friendship and the desire to see more from your talented fingers.:):):)

cartuneman
02-01-2013, 12:20 PM
thank you all so much for the words of encouragement and the thoughts of good will. It 's just been hard. I will do my best to keep my chin up. but what I was trying to say was or is, I wanted to thank you all for being a great extended family of friends.

Lima
02-01-2013, 12:21 PM
Best wishes John and I pray you have a full and complete recovery. As you know, the wish for healing has always been half of health.
Take care
Oriane Lima

D Akey
02-01-2013, 12:45 PM
thank you all so much for the words of encouragement and the thoughts of good will. It 's just been hard. I will do my best to keep my chin up. but what I was trying to say was or is, I wanted to thank you all for being a great extended family of friends.

That family & friends energy goes both ways, my friend. You are an inspiration on lots of levels.

EDIT: Oh, and you're also most welcome! ;)

chinapete
02-01-2013, 07:10 PM
ring the bells that still can ring
forget your perfect offering
there is a crack in everything
that's how the light gets in


Leonard Cohen "Anthem"

Caesar
02-01-2013, 09:05 PM
Dear Cartuneman, I think I may understand You a little bit, since I have collected so far a mechanical aorthic valve, ventricular tachycardiae then become a total A-V block, so that I'm already to the second model of pace-maker/ defibrillator and all this doesn't feel at all as when everything was OK. Whatever its accelerometers settings, I have considerable limitations to my physical performance. The irony is that I used to be since my birth almost super physically, and that all the rest still works pretty well, so that I have no typical old age problem (not even those most of people of my age have, no rheumatism, never headaches, no aching back, never a broken bone etc.), but my engine, my power supply.
It's quite frustrating, I have some rare rebellion moments, but I have responsibilities I wish to fulfil, blessings I wish to enjoy, changes and remedies to what I made wrong to carry out, improvements to my character which age tend to worsen, recovery of my best attitudes I intend to make, talents still to be exploited and, most of all, much love I have to give and spread more abundantly and concretely than ever, becoming fully mature.

So I wish You all the best, I hope you are anyway in a better or not worse situation than myself and I bet You don't see Your days and commitment to life much differently from me.
Finally, dear friend, don't dare to make us miss Your marvellous person, Your fantastic art, Your unique talent and creativity by leaving this Forum and resigning from Your artistic activities.:mad::o:D

fraser_paice
02-01-2013, 10:24 PM
Hey Mate,

One of the things I found when I became ill (tumour on my spine that could have killed me) was that we are all on the tightrope it's just that some of us need to watch our balance more than others. Nearly 2 years on from my operation I'm still not able to do the things I could before but I'm adapting and grateful that I'm still here. Yeah it does get frustrating, yeah it is scary and yeah it is great to have this weird collection of people to talk to.

Take it as an opportunity to sit and read more or paint more, I can't climb mountains these days but it doesn't stop my mind going there.

pat1940
02-02-2013, 03:09 AM
John, such wonderful advise from all our friends here in this forum, we are all with you, take care, Caesar said, Dont dare make us miss you and your wonderful paintings

cartuneman
02-02-2013, 09:04 PM
thank you all again that's what i love about the people here. it doesn't matter who you are you stretch out your hands an offer your help and friendship. thank you all.

coops
02-03-2013, 04:55 AM
Just checking in again John to see how you are. Hope things going ok:)

RobertSWade
02-03-2013, 07:21 PM
Come on, John. I once heard a wise man quoted as saying, "Life is hard. Only dying is easy." Don't go down the easy road. You have so much more to give and those who love you deserve to experience what that will be. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts along with so many others here will also be doing. Come on, tough guy. Make us proud.

screenpainter
02-03-2013, 09:15 PM
hoping for some good results and that they are very successful at getting it right. Be well John.

silvy
02-03-2013, 09:43 PM
Best whishes cartuneman and take care.

Bobbyray
02-04-2013, 03:19 AM
I think all of the above comments are reflective of the general feelings we have for you and your health. As Katie said; the mind has the power to heal if one uses it. Be positive and you will see that our abilities to heal ourselves is truly amazing. Do not be down or depressed as those are negative elements. I pray for the best for you my friend and yes that does help too.