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GekkouJin
07-22-2011, 01:04 PM
its some time ago that I was on the forum. In the time passed, it was a turbulent period with more downs than ups. Since some time it goes more down than up.
I lost allot of friend and family. also lost the courage to paint what I really wanted. my mind is blank without a positive view of future
allot of ideas but didn't know how to realized the things like I had them in my head. for some time I wanted the people in the world explaining what is wrong with me but only a few people saw what was going wrong, but didn't know how to react in the situation where I'm to.
My illness is one that there is not a cure for it, so looking at the future only making me more sad knowing that it is only going worst.
well people, I know I always tried to do the best for everybody, always ready to help other people. I always worked for free because money don't count for me. the only (little) thing I ask t was a little respect for who I was, what I did and what I created.
so yesterday I created my last work ever
I hope you can enjoy the last work I Finished
sorry for the negative vibes but its the only thing that spooks though my head for the last months
A Big thanks for the people who wanted to be a friend!

58032

Thanks for everything and to the Artrage team > keep going

gigicharm
07-22-2011, 01:32 PM
Praying for you! Peace be with you!
Blessings Forever,:o
GigiCharm

Alexandra
07-22-2011, 01:53 PM
Don't give up GoukkouJin. I know you have been through so much pain. I wish we all could visit you and help care for you. I too will have you in my prayers and I do hope that you can hold on once more to paint again.

pai
07-22-2011, 05:34 PM
I admire your works. Please don't give up. So many friends are here with you. You are in my thought :)

ARTGEEK
07-22-2011, 05:54 PM
I haven't been on the forums for a while , and your post caught my attention. Never give up hope ! My thoughts are with you. Wishing you well.

istycj
07-22-2011, 06:24 PM
so touching works! that makes us say wow that realy had an effect on us

netta
07-24-2011, 02:21 PM
I don't know you, and I am fairly new here on Artrage, Your art is so passionate and beautiful !! i must tell you I am also living with an incurable disease, which I take lots of meds for, I am tired all the time, I have Aids but I am Living my life to the fullest. Please , Please don't give up on life,and don't do anything to hurt yourself. I know you are sad, but God has the last say so. I am currently undetectable and have high t-cells which is great news for me. I am not having a pity party.I want to experience as much of life as I can, bad things happen to good people." It's not over till the fat lady sings" You are in my prayers.

mannafig
07-25-2011, 01:33 AM
If your finding it hard to get inspiration from looking to the future how about looking back at all the good things that you have done and how many good times you have had. draw from those good vibes it may help you feel better.
Take care:):)

gxhpainter2
07-25-2011, 02:36 AM
GoukkouJin...I am fairly new to this forum so I reviewed your most excellent work.... I too send my prayers and concerns that you find your way back to the simple joy of life and painting.. Manafig is right if you can't see into the future take this moment and remember the joy and pleasures... as you can see there are many here that are still your friends...

AT-TA
07-25-2011, 03:20 AM
Yes, we are all with you here in Artrage, GekkouJin so, whenever possible, come back to us again. Your work is outstandingly beautiful, giving joy to every good heart, so try to find the reason and inspiration in such a good thing. God bless you and keep you.:)

L Skylar Brown
07-25-2011, 03:32 AM
When I first read this post, I was at a loss as to how I could help. After much thought, I will just tell you of my journey. I have Cancer, and have been fighting it for 25 years. Lots of meds, and operations. I went through years of a clinical depression where I tried to drink the pain away. I saw no future. I didn't paint, or create. My family had even given up trying to help me. It was this lowest point, where I had to look at myself, and decide - I decided that no matter if I had days or years ahead, I WANTED to enjoy what I had. YOU are the only one who can turn your own life in a new direction. DO IT!

runningbull
07-25-2011, 03:53 AM
It was this lowest point, where I had to look at myself, and decide - I decided that no matter if I had days or years ahead, I WANTED to enjoy what I had. YOU are the only one who can turn your own life in a new direction. DO IT!

Great advice Skylar, for all of us. I hope that GekkouJin is uplifted by it and continues making art. His figures and action scenes of martial arts are really cool.

Caesar
07-25-2011, 07:48 PM
Dearest mate, first I would like to praise this work that shows quite evidently, as gloomy as it may apparently look, that there's a unique value Your presence provides to all of us, a unique light ray You only can emit and this will be true up to the end of Your mortal life.
Looking it the other side, Your absence would be felt and we would miss. I guess this would even more true for people who are physically around You.
If our life in here it's just a little trip among two endless periods, towards an endless existence, well, by doing Your best, helping and loving others, being compassionate, giving for free ... You must have amassed a fortune for Your next birth and neverending life, although You still have to stand this one and its pains, but also exploit and bless, just for a while, anyway, no matter how long it may eventually be.
Who could ever say what's right or wrong with anyone, since no empatghy or compassion (in its meaning of sharing sufference) could never put us completely in someone else's shoe? If I may tell You, don't look for what may be wrong, rather pursue what can be right for You and people around You, the little piece of God closer and easier to reach, and do again and again, as You did, what You can and, to say it somehow solemnly, Spes ultima dea, i.e. Hope should be the last goddess to leave us and just because we don't need to hope anymore, we're through and there's no more need to hope and have faith in what we will find ...
My most heartfelt blessings and wishes for You and for Your resurrection since here, also that of Your artpieces ...

coops
07-25-2011, 07:51 PM
Keep your head up and keep on trying, there is so much good out there in this world of ours.:)

silvy
07-31-2011, 02:40 AM
When I first read this post, I was at a loss as to how I could help. After much thought, I will just tell you of my journey. I have Cancer, and have been fighting it for 25 years. Lots of meds, and operations. I went through years of a clinical depression where I tried to drink the pain away. I saw no future. I didn't paint, or create. My family had even given up trying to help me. It was this lowest point, where I had to look at myself, and decide - I decided that no matter if I had days or years ahead, I WANTED to enjoy what I had. YOU are the only one who can turn your own life in a new direction. DO IT!

Totally agree with Slylar's words. I spent some year in depression because I'm hiv and hcv positive from 1987.
At that time it was a death sentence, hope was so few, but I'm still here.
Please, Don't give up!

semd74
07-31-2011, 05:10 AM
I can't really add any words except to say I totally agree with what the others have said and YOU are the only one who can decide...I hope you stay !!! It ain't over til it's over !!!

D Akey
07-31-2011, 06:09 AM
Yeah, depression will turn everything to mud. It can be worked with though, in that you have control over how you live it. And if your situation is dire, then please see it as an opportunity to live it as you choose, on your terms, within the circumstance. It may provide some better things than you anticipate in that down condition. I know this from personal experience. And while I understand my situation and yours are different, there are probably some select areas of overlap, since we are both human beings and dealing with life. There is always that at least.

I wish you well and my prayers are with you. And if prayers aren't your thing, I wish you the best in whatever form that takes for you.

GekkouJin
08-26-2011, 04:55 AM
Thanks to everyone for the comments, prayers and wishes, this has touched me deeply
I have made this in a very negative mood and was sitting very deep at that moment and hope not to have offended anyone
Sometimes a person can go very deep
Now this work/post has got a lot of reactions (and a couple of negative from people who do not want to understand) and my mailbox haven't stand still for a while that I am required to answer
I've been gone away for a while to take a clear head and have started with finishing some of my sketches (see link: http://www2.ambientdesign.com/forums/showthread.php?t=36666 , hopefully more will follow)
and hope for a long time to continue posting on this and other forums

regards,
GekkouJin

gxhpainter2
08-26-2011, 05:13 AM
this is most welcome news....I for one am happy that the clouds have cleared for you ... I was wondering some days ago how you were.. so this is a most welcome post :)

sabena
08-26-2011, 05:31 AM
Hi GekkouJin

I am not good with inglish but i want you listen this ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82F7OOXfmHM&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKIiggO8ofI&feature=related

I am with you in my mind.

dcahall
08-26-2011, 05:56 AM
GoukkouJin,

Your work is beautiful. I am new to this community and people with talent like your inspire me. I am going through similar things with my father in law so I can appreciate how you feel. But........

Look at the drawing you just submitted and feel prowd and do not give up. It is still "in you" even though you find it harder to draw out. As others have said, do not concentrate on the negative but instead focus your attention on the positive aspects you can still bring to the rest of us with your amazing talent. Although there are some negative conatations to your drawing, look at the positive things like the beautifuly composition of the leaves and the great work in the stone and it's text.

We all will pray for you and hope our prayers will give you the courage and strengh to continue. :)

gigicharm
08-26-2011, 05:00 PM
Very pleased indeed! Blessings for a brighter tomorrow always!:)

GigiCharm

screenpainter
08-26-2011, 05:21 PM
Gekkoujin I hope you will not give up. Silvy is right... it is good to disappoint the medical conclusions. I pray you will be well in your mind and body.